Rut-Ro

Previous weight: 195.5
Goal weight: 193
Current weight: 197

I gained 1.5 lbs.

I was supposed to LOSE 1.5 lbs, NOT GAIN.

Once again, I didn't prepare well so I didn't have a good array of fresh, healthy foods to choose from during the week.

I definitely don't have the motivation I had while on vacation. I go through spurts during the week. One meal I'm motivated, but the next, I'm rushed and I don't even think about what I'm eating. I'm trying to get healthy and I'm not even paying attention to what I'm putting in my mouth.

In trying go slow and steady, am I not focused enough? Am I being too relaxed in my approach?

I sense maybe I've swung too far in the opposite direction. Afraid of failing based on how I've approached weight loss in the past, I've tried not focusing too much on changing everything at once. As a result, I haven't actually changed anything. I'm in the same routines as before, but I'm expecting different results.

You would think that I must not be that interested in losing the weight. You'd think I must be content with how I am. But I'm not.

I'm sick of wearing the same 3 shirts because I don't have any others that fit.

I'm having trouble getting going.

But, that's all about to change.....

In the past, I've enjoyed successful weight loss when I've had an upcoming event planned.

During Mr. O's senior year in college, I attended his final fraternity formal and had dropped about 15lbs prior to the big night. I had also weight trained, so not only was I thinner, but I was more toned that I had been previously. Everyone noticed. People I hadn't seen in almost a year complimented me on "healthy" I looked! It was fantastic. I felt like a million bucks. One of my favorite pictures of Mr. O and I is from that night. My smile was a true reflection of how I felt. Now, its just a reminder of how unhealthy I am.

Prior to our wedding, I lost about 28 lbs. Once again, I was down to a healthy weight and I was so proud of myself. My wedding dress had to be altered THREE times because I kept losing weight. At the final fitting, the seamstress begged me to GAIN about 5 lbs so my top would fit better. She grew tired of rebeading the bust line. Of course I politely refused to gain the weight :) I had worked too hard to get the weight off. I actually preferred having a loose fitting dress rather than putting on the weight.

When I have an event to look forward to, that provides sufficient motivation. I picture myself at the event and how I want to feel.

Well, I have an event coming up in about 5 weeks. Over the weekend, a group of my college sorority sisters began planning a reunion. I haven't seen many of these people in 8 or 9 years (in terms of my weight, that was at least 30 lbs ago). Many are moms who have 2-3 children and they look fantastic! Bitches They haven't gained a damn pound, even after childbirth!

There will be a family picnic and then a girls night out (which I'm SOOOO excited about).

I recognize that losing weight in anticipation of a big event isn't a good long term weight loss strategy. However, I feel this is the push I need to get me started. I clearly haven't been successful these past 2 weeks mustering up the motivation on my own. And, knowing my past successes have come as a result of preparing for a specific event already has me planning my next week in greater detail. Because it's worked before, I'm looking forward to doing it again. It's a proven strategy in my weight loss war chest.

I feel like a broken record. I have the same goals as previously stated:

1. Take my daily vitamins/supplements

• Vitamin D 10,000 IU
• Iodine 12.5mg (down from 50 mg during my initial replenishment)
• Magnesium 250 mg

2. Eight hours of restful sleep

I've been getting 8 hours of sleep, but I haven't take ANY of my pills. WTH?!

I really want to add another goal, but until I can accomplish the two on my list, whats the point? I'll wait until I can handle those before I start adding more.

Hope you didn't come here seeking motivation. Right now I'm still struggling to get my own ass in gear. I promise you, though, that I WILL get things going and then, watch out ;)

This chapter isn't over yet...

And the results are in...

Previous weight: 196
Goal weight: 194.5
Current weight: 195.5

I lost 0.5 lbs.

Earlier in the week I had weighed myself and was down to 193lbs. BAD IDEA because I mentally gave myself a thumbs up to eat whatever I wanted (including the aforementioned M&Ms).

I can't be disappointed because I didn't do what I needed to.

Ya'll are probably questioning my commitment to this, right?! I mean, it's only the first week and I've not put forth much of an effort and my lack of weight loss confirms that.

I really am committed, but like I said, slow and steady. Slow and steady.

Although I didn't exercise (aside from the extensive walking I did at the charity event), I still closely monitored my portion sizes. At a cook out, I passed on having a bun with my cheeseburger. I also did not eat any chips with my meal.

Last night, we ordered out and Mr. O enjoyed a full meal (complete with a hearty appetizer dip and waffle fries) while I opted to order a sandwich from a sub shop. I estimate that I probably saved myself 400 calories by not ordering out a full blown meal.

I obviously have some weight to make up and I know I'll do it.

I wanna look good for my 30th Birthday!

Tomorrow is the big day!

Tomorrow is the first official weigh-in. I weighed a few days ago and it looked good; then I weighed again last night and well, not so good.

Guess we'll see how tomorrow goes!

The last few days have been a mix of good and bad. I've contained my portion sizes and have eaten a good amount of fruit and veggies.

There has, however, been a VERY LARGE bag of peanut M&M's laying around so a couple of times a day I grab a handful or two (or three). I also drank a soda yesterday.

I'm really trying not to be hard on myself. Deprivation usually leads to binging, so having something here and there can't kill me.

Unfortunately I haven't really done many of my TWO daily goals. RE: the pills, I just plain forgot. To remedy that this week, I'm going to lay them out for the entire week. I have pill bags so I'll put the pills in those tonight and ask Mr O to remind me to take them during lunch. I hesitate to take them at night because I don't want to run the risk of them keeping me up at night.

I did a charity walk on Saturday, so that counts for one work out session, right? I wore a pedometer and got in 3,000 steps before 11am! I'll wear the pedometer tomorrow to see how many steps I get in during the day. I don't have a particular goal, I'm just curious as to how much I walk. Other than that, I haven't worked out. Boooooo.

I guess getting back into the real world after vacation was more difficult than I originally thought.

I've made some good food choices, too, but over time, I need to make those more often than I give into the bad ones.

Keeping my fingers crossed for a good day tomorrow!

Work out mix

Although our treadmill is in a room with a DVR, I still want a good music mix for one day when I run walk really fast outside.

While on vacation, I extensively researched good work out music and developed the following list. It's mostly fast paced music, but I threw in a few slow ones that are still quite motivating.

Enjoy!

****************
Say Hey- Michael Fronte and spearhead
Eminem- Lose yourself
Hey Mama- Black Eyed Peas
Survivor- Destiny's child
Green Day
3 doors down- kryptonite
my life would suck without you- Kelly Clarkson
Sk8er Boi- Avril lavigne
Holiday- Green Day
AMerian idiot- Green Day
Since you been gone- Kelly Clarkson
Pop- n'sync
Hollaback girl- Gwen Stefani
See you again- Miley Cyrus
Kerosene- Miranda Lambert
Ready to Run- Dixie Chicks
Rehab- Amy Winehouse
Pump it- Black Eyed Peas
When I come around- Green Day
lady gaga- just dance
Low- flo rida
All that she wants- ace of base
Best days of your life- Kelli Pickler
Hey there deliliah- plain white Ts
1,2,3,4- plain white T's
Sin Wagon- Dixie chicks
Stupid Girls- Pink
Don't let me get me- Pink
Rehab- Rhianna
So what- Pink
The Climb- Miley Cyrus
I wanna be sedated- The Ramones
Girlfriend- Avril Levigne
What I like about you- Romantics
Stronger- Britney Spears
Gun powder and lead- Miranda Lambert
Start All over- Miley Cyrus
Nobody's Perfect- Miley Cyrus
Kissed a girl- Katy Perry
What about now- Daughtry
Not ready to make nice- Dixie Chicks
Digital Getdown- N'Sync
I Run for Life- Melissa Etheridge

Good start

Initially, I was nervous to return from vacation because life gets in the way and tends to derail us from our goals.

I've done OK. I've done a fairly good of keeping my portions smaller. I've eaten pretty well and reduced my soda intake.

Although I haven't worked out this week, tomorrow I'm participating in a charity walk and then helping with a community event in the afternoon, so I'll be up and around all day. I'll wear my pedometer so I can track my physical activity.

I cheated and weighed myself and things look good! I've decided to weight on Mondays. I'm hoping that'll keep me eating well throughout the weekend :)

Get ready for my first WEIGH IN in a few days!

PS. Thanks to people who emailed me with encouraging words about this blog! It means a lot to me. I'm keeping the emails stashed away because I just know I'll need to re-read them in the future when I need some motivation!

Recipe: Angel Hair Pasta with Vegetables

I'm always looking for some good recipes and when they're healthy too, well, that's just a bonus!

I made this dish tonight. It's the second time I've made it and it's really good. Lots of flavor and is only 333 calories per serving.

Tonight I used whole wheat pasta (not sure if that affects calorie content or not) and instead of chopping up the veggies individually, I used a bag of frozen stir fry veggies and then added the fresh mushrooms as the recipe indicates.

For dessert, I cut up fresh fruit. I'm ALWAYS in the mood for fruit.



For lunch, I had 1/2 of a turkey sandwich on a croissant (business luncheon in which I participated/spoke often, so eating wasn't really an option). I did enjoy 1/2 of a Heath cookie though and it was delish!

My caloric intake today is much less than normal, so I'm hoping I lost all 1.5 lbs for the week in just one day (is that tooo optimistic?).

I haven't yet decided which day of the week I'll weight. Tuesdays maybe?

My ah-ha moment

My ah-ha moment. Well, I didn't exactly have an ah-ha moment that drove me to embark on this lifestyle change.

But there has been a single driving factor that I think about nearly every day that is slowly motivating me to want to change.

I know its superficial, but I'm putting it out there anyway: I don't like looking at pictures of myself.

About two years ago, I stopped putting pictures of myself up on my personal blog. I couldn't find any pictures I like that didn't have more than 2.5 chins. It became difficult finding a pic in which my face didn't look swollen (like I had been attacked my bees and swelled up like a balloon). My cheeks, my eyes, my chin- it all looks....swollen. Puffy.

A few weeks ago, I came across a friend on Facebook that I haven't seen in years. She's actually not my friend on FB; she's a friend of a friend and her picture came up on my friends profile for some reason. I clicked over and was shocked at how much weight she has gained since I saw her last. As bad as it sounds, I think I actually gasped outloud. I couldn't believe the thoughts that ran through my head, "she's so beautiful, how could she do this to herself?" "She used to be so good and strong and she took care of herself back then. What happened?"

I'm ashamed at the thoughts I had.

Then it hit me; I bet people say the same thing about me.

I've gained about 50 lbs since my wedding in 2004. My face is much rounder, my cheeks and fingers are larger. I look very different. I feel very different, too.

I don't feel like me and I'm embarrassed to meet up with people I haven't seen in several years.

I'm a confident woman. I have a powerful job and I'm on the board of directors for a well known local organization. I'm constantly around people much older than myself and I hold my own regardless of the conversation. I'm well versed in politics, the economy, music, current publications and movies. I could talk to a wall if need be. I'm always humbled when someone is kind enough to comment on how impressed they are with me- being such a "young woman" and all.

It's a real confidence booster. I'm successful and others notice.

But, with as driven as I am, why can't I get control of my weight?

Why can't I take the motivation and success I've had in many other areas and apply that to my lifestyle?

It's so disappointing.

And maddening!

I'm not trying to be super-model skinny, I just need to be healthier. And that means losing the 40+ lbs I've gained over the years. Once I can achieve and maintain that, then I hope the person I feel like on the inside is better reflected on the outside.

P.S. I also saw, via the same FB friend of a friend channel, an old high school friend acquaintance that used to be slightly overweight and she looks fantastic now! She's lost the extra 20+ lbs she carried back when we hung out and I'm envious of what she's accomplished. Is is bad that I use the animosity I feel towards her (she wasn't a very good friend to be honest) to motivate me to get my butt moving a little more??

Mini-brag session

I'm proud of myself!

I've been having MAJOR car problems for 3 months now (today I dropped off my car at the dealership for the 6th time in 10 weeks) and the dealership is near a Starbucks.

I was so ticked after dropping my car off, I thought I "deserved" a Strawberries'n'cream frappucinno (you know, from putting up with all of the car crap).

But, I drove right by Starbucks! That was nearly 500 calories that I didn't need.

I keep telling myself that it's the little changes that will lead to big weight loss!

(I should probably also admit that I did down 3 Bud Lights during bowling tonight)! But, I would have done that even if I had the Starbucks, so I still sacrificed 500 Starbucks calories ;)

Formalizing my strategy

Having given quite a bit of thought to how I’ll being my fitness journey, I’ve decided slow and steady wins the race.

One of my biggest challenges is that I’m an all-or-nothing kinda gal. When I want something, I want it. Like yesterday. When I get my mind set on something, I go at it 100%, full steam ahead. I study it, prepare for it, budget for it. I allow it to consume me.

In the past, I’ve approached weight loss with the same ambition. I immediately change what I eat, how much and how often. In addition, I also start some sort of physical exercise 3-4 days/week. I’m pumped and keep up the motivation. For all of three days. Then I tend to crash and burn.

With all of the changes I implement simultaneously, after a few days, nothing is familiar to me. My daily routines are all out of whack. I get frustrated with the unfamiliarity and I throw my hands up in full surrender.

Fortunately, since mid-December, I’ve been able to lose (and keep off) almost 7 lbs. At that time, I recognized my all-or-nothing approach as a barrier to sustained weight loss and I committed to slow and steady progress.

Since then, I’ve eaten smaller portion sizes. That’s pretty much been the only real change I’ve made and it seems to be working well.

With that challenge under my belt (literally), I think the next step will be incorporating physical exercise. I’d like to work out 3 days/ week for at least 30 minutes. If I can burn at least 300 calories each time, that’ll be a good start. I’m not sure if that’ll help me to lose 1.5 lbs per week, but I’m more interested in establishing a healthy, sustainable routine rather than be consumed by the scale.

Now is also a good time to make sure I’m physically healthy. I don’t feel the need to see the doctor just to get orders for lab tests and for him to tell me I’m generally healthy, so my plan is to get labs done online. I have a high deductible insurance plan combined with a Health Savings Account, so going the online route is the financially responsible choice.

Within the next two weeks, I will check my:

Vitamin D 25(OH)

TSH, T3, and Free T4

My last TSH done Aug 2008 was on the high end of normal (and “normal” is a moving target when it comes to TSH). Dr. Davis says a perfect TSH is 1.0 and my last level was 3.8 (five years ago, right before our wedding, my TSH was 0.8- and I weighed about 150 lbs and felt fantastic).

Your thyroid affects your metabolism, so having higher levels of TSH can negatively affect your metabolism.

Now that I’ve started supplementing Iodine in higher levels, my TSH will likely be high for a few months until my iodine levels optimize. As long as the T3 and Free T4 levels are normal, that’s what’s important.

I also feel the need to get a non-digital scale. The one we currently have shows we weigh about 5 lbs heavier than the one at my office (I work at a doctors office, so I’d like to think that scale is more accurate since they’re calibrated). We’ll see about getting a new scale. Mr. O doesn’t like when I get “on my new kick” because it inevitably means we’re spending more money on something.

Maybe if I just moved the scale out of the bathroom and onto a different surface….

In addition to adding the physical exercise and checking my blood levels, there are also a few daily routines that I need to adhere to:

1. Take my daily vitamins/supplements

• Vitamin D 10,000 IU
• Iodine 12.5mg (down from 50 mg during my initial replenishment)
• Magnesium 250 mg

2. Eight hours of restful sleep

I have other goals that I plan to incorporate into my daily routine (drink more water, etc), but SLOW and STEADY. Those goals will come later after I’ve established I can do the 2 things on my current list.

Weekly goals include:

1) Work out 3 times for 30 mins each

2) Blog at least once/week

I may eventually join Amber’s group, but again, too much at once has failed me before, so I’m keeping things light and reasonable (at least for now).

I’m scared that I won’t be able to keep up even these small routines. My motivation really kicked up a notch while I was on vacation, away from the real world and the daily responsibilities. Am I willing to do what it takes each and every day once I’m back to my life?

I know I CAN do it, but WILL I? Guess we’ll see.

The Strategy Room

As most people do, I've studied many weight loss strategies.

While on vacation, I went to Borders, grabbed a few weight loss books and parked myself in a comfy chair for a few hours. I read part of the "21 Pounds in 21 Days." I didn't realize it at the time, but the author is Dr. Roni, who has been on Howard Stern several times. She's Robin's colon cleansing doctor. Needless to say, it was a very interesting read.

I am NOT shoving something up *that* end, but in reading what Dr. Roni has to say about detoxing/colon cleansing, she made a lot of sense. (Side note: She claims that most people have several pounds of poop waste collecting in their colon. SEVERAL POUNDS. Just sitting in there. Being Disgusting. And Stinky.)

The other book I picked up was The Core Diet. I had previously taken the hormonal profile and according to this book, my adrenals need my attention first. According to the Women-to-Women website:

The basic task of your adrenal glands is to rush all your body’s resources into "fight or flight" mode by increasing production of adrenaline and other hormones. When healthy, your adrenals can instantly increase your heart rate and blood pressure, release your energy stores for immediate use, slow your digestion and other secondary functions, and sharpen your senses.

My profile indicates that my adrenals may be overworked and therefore, negatively affecting my cortisol levels:

Sustained high cortisol levels destroy healthy muscle and bone, slow down healing and normal cell regeneration, co-opt biochemicals needed to make other vital hormones, impair digestion, metabolism and mental function, interfere with healthy endocrine function; and weaken your immune system.

I've also been a follower (and HUGE fan) of Dr. Bill Davis, a Wisconsin Cardiologist. He spends so much time educating readers about various factors that contribute to heart disease and he's one in a million. Literally. He's one of the good guys in medicine. He's not paid big bucks by drug companies to pimp their product. He's a genuine, very down-to-earth, and reasonable man and a fantastic member of the medical community.

Dr. Davis is a true believer in eliminating wheat products from the diet. He explains the wheat addiction cycle:

But wheat addicts immediately know who they are. They are the ones who can't resist the warm dinner rolls served at the Italian restaurant, need to include something made of wheat at every meal, and crave it every 2 hours (matching the cycle of blood sugar peaks and valleys, the "valley" triggering the craving). When they stop the flow of immediately-released glucose that comes from wheat (with blood sugar peaks that occur higher and faster than table sugar), irresistible cravings kick in. Then watch out: They'll bite your hand off if you reach for that roll before they do.

Break the cycle and the body is confused: Where's the sugar? The body is accustomed to receiving a constant flow of easily-digested sugars.

Once the constant influx of sugars ceases, it takes 5-7 days for metabolism to shift towards fat mobilization as a source of energy. But along with fat mobilization comes a shrinking tummy, reducing the characteristic wheat belly.

When you consume too much wheat (or any wheat according to Dr. Davis), your body gets all of its energy from the constant supply of wheat. When this happens, you body doesn't ever burn stored fat for energy. Excess "energy" that your body doesn't need then gets stored as fat and the cycle persists.

Eliminate wheat and after a few days, your body adjusts and begins obtaining it's energy from your fat storage.

Followers of Dr. Davis comment and attest to their success stories when they completely eliminated wheat from their diets.

He also recommends intermittent fasting in the form of significant caloric reduction for a period of 3 days by eating only vegetables. He has a great post on how to spice up the diet during these few days (dip veggies in hummus, salsa, bean dip, etc). One can expect to lose about 1/2 lb/day while "fasting."

In addition, there is the ever present argument about which physical activities are best for weight loss: cardio vs. weight training. Cardio is very beneficial for your heart, but weight training helps sustain long term weight loss because it increases your metabolism by creating more muscle.

Wheat or no wheat. Veggies. Fasting. Hormone imbalances. Cardio vs. weight training. Small but continuous meal eating. THERE'S SO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT.

Whats my strategy?

I'm not sure. That's what I'm figuring out.

How much do I have to lose?

I currently weigh 196 lbs. Unfortunately, this isn't the most I've ever weighed. About a year ago, I tipped the scales at about 203lbs. I've made very small changes to drop a few pounds since then, but I need to get serious about my weight.

At my current weight, my BMI is 29.8 which makes me "overweight" BUT is only 0.1 away from being obese! Unacceptable!

To figure out my ideal body weight, I'm aiming for a BMI that is in the middle of "normal." This goal weight is 155lbs, which gives me a BMI of 23.6.

I'm not a perfect being and therefore, rather than overshooting and being totally unrealistic, I'm not setting out (at least at this point in time) to lose all 41 lbs.

I want to lose 29 lbs. Here's how I calculated that weight loss:

I need to lose 41 lbs. That would be roughly 2lbs a week for 20 weeks. That assumes I will lose 2 lbs EVERY week and NEVER gain any weight. This assumption is unreasonable. Instead of achieving 100% success, I figure I can realistically hit the 70% mark. This means I have 29 lbs to lose (70% of 41 is 29).

Interestingly enough, in 20 weeks (mid-October) I'll turn 30 years old. What a great way to ring in the next decade of my life!

This averages out to 1.5lbs/week. This is VERY reasonable, right?

I'm currently on vacation and I've spent a good chunk of time studying weight loss, reading others' success stories, stalking catching up on old high school friends blogs/facebook that have lost weight, and developing my weight loss plan.

I have several motivations, goals, and strategies I will employ. Those will follow once I can hijack another wifi signal shortly.

Stay tuned!